The Dieter and the Drill Sergeant

As you go about your day you need to be conscious of what you eat. Easier said than done right? If you are starving and sitting down at a restaurant the idea of  a plate of pasta is already toying with your imagination. The salad takes a back seat. What you need in this situation is a drill sergeant to help you make smarter choices. One would could trump your growling stomach and your appetite for high calorie food. Remember the drill sergeant from the movie Full Metal Jacket? He was one mean SOB. Imagine him busting into the restaurant and stomping up to your table:

“Put that damn pasta fork down you disgusting fat slob! Are you allowed to eat pasta?”

“Sir, no Sir!”

“You are just trying to piss me off aren’t you? You want to get me angry? Who said you could east pasta?”

“Sir, nobody Sir!”

“You are just trying to give me a bad day you miserable piece of crap. What else have you been eating? Is that powdered sugar I see on your chin? Where in God’s name did that come from? Step away from the table you gelatinous sack of flab!”

“Sir, yes Sir!”

“You are a disgusting fat body Private! What is this? A jelly doughnut in your briefcase? What are you doing with a jelly doughnut in your  briefcase?!”

“Sir,I was hungry Sir!”

“Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts Private?”

“Sir, no Sir!”

“And why not? Why are you NOT allowed to eat jelly doughnuts Private?”

“Sir, because I am 20 pounds overweight Sir!”

“That’s right you fat bastard! The very sight of you makes me want to vomit. I am going to be sick! You want me to vomit don’t you? Are you trying to get me to blow chunks Private? I think you are! Why else would you have a jelly doughnut in your briefcase? Now drop and give me 500 pushups! One for every  disgusting calorie!”

“Sir, yes Sir! 1-2-3-4 I love the Marine Corps…”

I think you get the point. Next time you are about to eat remember your personal drill sergeant. For inspiration check out this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur3121e_Cgg

(I apologize in advance for the vulgar language. Drill sergeants can be colorful at times…)

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