New York City: Ground zero for the Battle of the Bulge

You may have heard that soon to be ex-New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg advocated and made into law a ban on large sized soft drinks. His thinking is if you limit access to large soft drinks people will lose weight. He is now claiming himself a champion against obesity. I want to go on record by saying this is one of the stupidest ideas I have ever heard of.

He believes that the billions in taxpayer dollars spent on public education does not address the basics of human health. He believes our children do not understand that consuming too much sugar is bad. He also thinks that adults when confronted with soda, cannot control themselves and so the State must step in and do the controlling for them. He has basically created a new set of laws to fight stupidity.

Exactly how does Bloomberg plan to enforce this ban? Create a naval blockade around Manhattan? Form a secret division of the NYPD? Plaster reward posters across the city to create fat soda snitches? What is his blueprint for making this ban a success?

 “Sir, I understand you want a 64-ounce Dr. Pepper but unfortunately I am not allowed to carry 64-ounce cups. What I can sell you is the 16-ounce 4-pack. Or you can go to 7-Eleven and get a Big Gulp. Apparently these self-serve retail outlets are not affected by this ban. Yes, I know it makes no sense… Perhaps you are finding it hard to understand because you are so thirsty.”

Read how 7-Eleven Big Gulps are not affected

Why stop at big soft drinks Mr. Bloomberg? Why not cigarettes? Beer? Chocolate? Why not ban stupidity in general? Administer a “Stupid” test to all residents of New York City. Anyone who fails is banned for life from the city. If you are going to try to take away people’s freedoms in order to fight stupidity then at least put in place a ban that may actually work. With your approach obesity will go on undeterred. Thirsty soda drinkers (who know full well that soda contain loads of sugars) will simply purchase two drinks instead of one. Your new set of laws? A complete waste of time and taxpayers money.

Here is a better idea. Throughout New York City strategically place treadmills and dangle in front of them large cups full of soda. Soda lovers will find themselves trapped running on the treadmill and while attempting to pursue the soda they will end up losing weight and lose their desire to slurp sugary drinks.

OK. Here is a not so clever idea: If you care so much about obesity Mr. Bloomberg then do something to fix the broken education system in this country. Apparently the word is not getting across to our children that soda is bad for you. Why not try to fix this? Fixing stupidity with stupidity rarely works.

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