Dear King George,
I hope this letter finds you well. As you know the boys over here have been kicking around the idea of a rebellion for some time. Ever since the Boston Massacre incident people have been downright pissed. The other day someone told me they burned an image of you in effigy (whatever that means LOL!). I said “you mean an f-ing image you dunce!” Man the peeps over here are just nuts.
Speaking of f-ing… I read this letter they wrote and it is basically one big FU. They are calling it a Declaration of Independence! LOL The want to be called the United States of America LMAO!. Sounds to me like they don’t want your rule no mo. Don’t worry bro we all know this democracy BS won’t fly. After all its the 70s man! Don’t they know that being a king is cool! LOL
Anyway, on a more serious note, along with the next shipment of tea I suggest you bring some of the big guns over to this beeyacchh! Send over the motha f-ing red coats LOL! I think these peeps are going pyscho! One of these wooden toothed fools says he gonna pop a cap in your azz! I think he means business. I would take these chumps out myself but this anti-tyranny think is all over the youtube here. Something about all men being created equal has got them wigging. Yeah I know dude, it will never fly. Probably just a fad. Wigs are so yesterday.
So I am just writing to let you know that I need to lay low for awhile. The minute man is casing my joint hard. LOL! In the mean time look out for the guy with the wooden teeth. He is downright gangsta!
Peace out my tyrannical brotha!