Lose Weight Without Diet OR Exercise: Head transplantation!

Scientists think they have found a way to perform a human head transplant. Not a head plant, you heard me right: a head transplant. We can now salvage our Hollywood favorites and perhaps even fix the political system! This remarkable breakthrough will alter the course of history. It will change life as we know it. Dieting and exercise will become obsolete.

You can find the article here.

According to the article, doctors may be able to perform a human head transplant and do so WITH spinal linkage. I think this is pretty darn cool. You can have your head attached to a new body and have it linked up to a spine too. I would have thought that might have been extra. My preference would be to keep my head detached this way if I am stuck in a crowd I can just lift it up for a better view. Yet, I am no doctor. If they are saying the best approach is to have spinal linkage than so be it.

The head transplantation procedure is actually quite simple. To pull this off all you need is a head and a body and who doesn’t have that? I am already fantasizing about the possibilities. I hear the ladies are crazy for the tall, dark and handsome look.  Of course, I am not that tall so perhaps I should go for the new body. Decisions decisions! I am currently not using my head at the moment… any takers?

Once your doctor has the parts required all that is needed is a really sharp knife and some glue. Heck, I am sure there are some crazy people out there already trying this out at home. Of course I discourage this practice. Leave the head transplants to the pros people! Imagine if you glued your head on backwards? Or worse yet: upside down! You would have start over again. Done wrong and a sneeze can prove fatal. Plus, the glue they use must be pretty darn strong. You might also do something silly like glue your fingers together or get your hand stuck to your neck. Do you know the difference between the air pipe and the food pipe? See, things gets complicated fast. Do not try head transplantation at home!

Done right though this amazing breakthrough brings benefits that go beyond those who can afford the new head or body. It will also create jobs. Serial killers can finally get paid for what they do. Perhaps even save up for a shiny new nondescript van to drive around in. I can even imagine new reality television shows coming out : “Head Hunters International”  or, “Body Snatchers: how to get a head in life.” I am thinking “Love it or List it” will be a popular show about people who are not happy with their heads.

Now famous people can be kept preserved (even though some part of their body will still get wrinkly). Even if the new procedure costs a $1 million bucks it will still make financial sense. Joan Rivers probably spent over a $1 million in preserving her face alone. This is a sunk cost. With a new body she can recoup some of that investment. People like Chaz Bono can actually get a mans body and have only one scar to hide. Mock turtleneck to the rescue! Transgendered people born without a manly or womanly face can now rejoice. The benefits are endless. Personally, I cannot wait for Apple to come out with the new i-head. My body will stand in long lines to be one of the first to have it.

Finally, the best part is the fix to our political system that will come as a result of head transplantation. Politicians today are nothing more than talking heads. Now we can toss them all out and get them replacement heads (no doubt they will vote themselves free head transplants anyway). These new heads may just do less talking and more doing. All we need to do is fix the supply so that they no longer get heads from “Three Stooges Inc.” and we may actually get a functioning government at some point!

2 thoughts on “Lose Weight Without Diet OR Exercise: Head transplantation!”

  1. Unfortunately the new body still gets the old head and with it the brain that made all the original bad decisions that led to an out of shape old body. Same brain. Same bad decisions. Same old body eventually. Still no magic bullet or surgery. Healthy eating and exercise still rules the roost.

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