Plastic surgeons are now known as ‘health experts’

Does drinking water from a bottle really cause deep wrinkles to form on your face? Coming from a plastic surgeon this story makes complete sense. Yes, anytime you pucker you should schedule a visit to the face doctor! Who knew? Since when however, are they known as health experts as this article suggests?

Other meaningful health warnings from plastic surgeons:

  • Do not drink from the fire hose. The water pressure will cause your cheeks and neck to expand causing stretch marks.
  • No kissing unless it is open mouth tongue wrestling. No puckering! See story about drinking from a water bottle…
  • No tongue in cheek discussions (like this one). This will cause tiny fissures near one side of the mouth.
  • No mouthing off! Your mouth will require more than just Botox to be reaffixed. This is also true if you shoot your mouth off. Just don’t go there…
  • Watch your mouth. Especially near water bottles.
  • Dont be a big mouth as this can be hard to correct.
  • It is strongly recommend that you fix your diarrhea of the mouth before consulting a health expert. Do the same if you have a foul mouth.
  • Avoid putting your foot in your mouth. Again, causes deep frown lines and/or stretch marks.
  • Speaking out of both sides of the mouth is encouraged. Plastic surgeons like uniformity.
  • Put your money where your mouth is. This too is encouraged. Plastic surgeons like working near money.
  • They also suggest you get things straight from the horse’s mouth. In fact, you are better off not talking at all. Let the horse do it. In fact, let the horse take the words right out of your mouth.

Let this be a warning to you. If you do not heed this advice chances are you will need to consult a real health expert: a plastic surgeon! Yikes!

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