To the energetic go the spoils

The people who continuously display a high level of energy and enthusiasm are people we all tend to gravitate to.We like people who are bubbling with happiness, confidence and excitement. Why is this? And why do we prefer them over people who are quiet, reserved or humble?

It has to do with how we feel about ourselves and I will argue, a lot to do with our personal energy levels. When we see an energetic person we immediately want that energy to rub off on us. When we see a non-energetic person we perceive them to be an energy vacuum who will suck the energy from us. Before every social engagement our minds try to predict which way the energy balance will tilt and we do this based on the appearance and attitude of those we engage with.

Face it: we are always trying to change people, encourage them to act, encourage them to like us, change them to our way of thinking. We do this continuously with every single social engagement no matter how simple or innocuous. Every time you talk to someone you are trying to impart something onto them. You are trying to entertain them, educate them, enlighten them, make them angry, make them sad, make them feel the way that you do. To do this requires energy and so we make subtle initial calculations to determine how much energy this conversation will require. We ask ourselves “Is it worth the energy?” because we know conversations can be physically demanding sometimes!

People who are quiet or hide in the shadows are sending us a message that they want to stay that way. They want to remain hidden and they do not want to be exposed. If we strike a conversation with these types we run the risk of having our energy sucked from us. The opposite is true when we speak to high energy people. We are either emboldened by them or intimidated by them.

Personal energy greatly affects how you are perceived and in this world those that are perceived to have high energy tend to get the spoils. Those who are perceived to have low energy only attract others with the same low energy.

Here is the scenario to think about: When you see someone with high energy are you attracted to them perhaps wanting to know more about what they are saying or doing? Or are you intimidated by them and therefore shy away from them? Perhaps your mind is saying: “I don’t have the energy to compete in a social engagement with this person.” On the other hand, when you initiate in a conversation with someone chances are you feel confident that you are at least on par with their energy level. If you have low energy you tend to talk to other low energy people. High energy people attract others with similar energy.

Can you see how energy affects peoples success at least in social circles? Next time you find yourself in a social engagement consider asking yourself if you are an energy producer or an energy drainer. Energy producers get much more attention.

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