The Government Shutdown Diet

Just when I was going to start my Government Shutdown Diet they went and reopened the government! Drat! That’s OK. They just kicked the can a bit further down the road anyway. I can start this new diet in January…

Here is my 16-day government shutdown diet:

Step 1) Scare everyone by threatening to diet

Step 2) Talk out of both sides of your mouth so food can’t enter

Step 3) Ignore the fact that you are 17 trillion pounds over weight

Step 4) Filibuster by cramming your face with potato chips for 24 hours

Step 5) Shut down all sweets  for 16 days but… one by one pass bills allowing you to eat sweets except for sweets they hand out at hospitals thanks to Obamacare. These are dubbed “unnecessary sweets”.

Step 6) Walk around telling everyone you are on a diet and threaten the end of the world if you don’t start eating again. “I will go into default! Arrrg!!”

Step 7) Compromise by saying “I can afford to add a few more pounds” and then end this faux diet!

Sadly, I dont see the government ever going on a diet. Even in shutdown mode it was still spending money hand over fist. It was all just a bunch of bull. How does this relate to you and your diet? The question is: how much bull are you telling yourself? What is your rational for not cutting out the calories and crap you have been eating? Think about it!

 

 

 

 

 

My idea was really never to start dieting but to just find an excuse to kick the can down road again. Perhaps I should force my children to diet for me?

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