Category Archives: Stress relief

The best way to remove stress

Here is a quick tip on how to have a better day: do something about your stress. The simplest, easiest and bestest way to do this? Take 10 minutes right now and sit somewhere quiet where you won’t be interrupted and think about your dreams. Take out a pad and a pencil and jot down some ideas on ways you can achieve these dreams. Planning for your future often takes a backseat to more pressing concerns yet the desire to move closer to your dreams lurks in the back of your mind and adds to your stress when nothing is done about it.

If you have ever felt like you are on a hamster wheel, running around and getting nowhere then you know what I am talking about. You are running through life and too busy to do anything about the fact that you have been moving laterally and not forward. You know at some point you just have to stop running and step off the wheel. Do this now. Stop running, Sit back and reflect on your future and how you can make it brighter. A little moment like this will make your day a much better one. Trust me on this one!

Fear affects your disposition

Fear changes who you are. It changes how you act. It affects your disposition towards others.

Today, I am headed into the start of what will be two very painful and two very full days of closed door meetings. The execs will be hammering me relentlessly trying to get me to commit to a sales forecast number for the quarter. This is never fun and it is never easy. I think I would rather be tied naked to a post and publicly whipped!

The thought of these meetings has hung over me like a dark cloud the last few days and the stress has made me grumpy and irritable. When you get put into an uncomfortable position it bothers you doesn’t it? This is how I have been feeling.

It wasn’t till 5:30AM this morning, the day of the meetings, that I realized I had been grumpy for no reason. I was lucky enough to have the hotel gym all to myself and time to reflect. During my workouts I meditate and in this calm state I realized I was basically scared. I was simply afraid. Not overly to the point of being a wimp mind you but enough to turn me into a sourpuss. I told myself not to fear the future and I instantly felt better.

The truth is I can walk into this meeting completely at ease because I had all of my facts down cold. I had studied and prepared and have tons of experience to fall back on. I have been in these meetings before. I know how they turn out. What shocked me the most is that I had forgotten this. I let the stress get to me and it changed my disposition.

Fear and stress change who you are and how you act. You may not even realize as I did, that you are afraid. It can lurk deep down and fester. If you are feeling overly grumpy today take a second and ask yourself if it is based on fear. Telling yourself not to be afraid will work wonders.

Don’t be afraid. Go forth and conquer!

Facing the elephant in the room

Stress is one of the single biggest factors in the struggle to lose weight. A “stressed dieter” is an oxymoron. Are you really thinking about watching what you eat when you are under pressure? Your diet almost always takes a back seat to stress abatement. I know when I am under pressure I will take a tall glass of milk and a box of cookies over veggies and dip in a heart beat. Not to mention vegging on the couch versus working out. Yet when I loaf on the couch and stuff my face with sugar am I doing anything to address my stress? The first step in fixing stress is to understand which direction you are facing. Towards it or away from it.

Facing forward, staring stress in the eye means you are attempting to take what is an overwhelming challenge and break it up into bite size pieces. The stress itself may be slow to disappear but at least you are trying to do something about it.

Facing away from stress is escapism. You turn your back towards stress to shield you from it. The act provides near instant relief  but your battle against stress becomes longer and protracted.  The couch and the television become all too often your getaway car.

The better approach of course is to face stress. Acknowledge to yourself that there is in fact an elephant in the room. Stress is there and it wont go anywhere unless you help it go bye-bye.

Think of stress as a crazy algebra problem where you need to solve for ‘X’. At first glance the problem looks massive and unbreakable. The good news is to solve a problem you simply need to start out small. Take one part of the equation and try to simplify it. Use concepts like addition, subtraction, multiplication or division to help. “If I do more of ‘Y’ how does that affect ‘X’? If I do less of ‘Y’ how does that affect ‘X’? In life you know not everything is linear but thinking about the problem logically versus not thinking about it at all means at least you are facing in the right direction!

Stress relief = Bravery + Patience + Logic. Go brush up on your algebra skills!

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(My kids math homework in which we had to solve for “L”. Which in this case L equals A minus 1/2 times Pi times W to the second power divided by two times W. To solve all we did was simply divide both sides by 2W. Who knew!)

My goal in life: See every beautiful day firsthand

My latest goal in life is to greet every beautiful day firsthand. Not behind a desk, not commuting on a train, and certainly not hidden in some windowless room. We were intended to do this. We were made to do this. I was made to do this! If you find yourself forced to be indoors on a beautiful day turn to those around you and ask “Is there a reason we can’t do this outside?” Believe me, this is something everyone wants but are too afraid to ask. The next gorgeous day you come across make sure and appreciate it firsthand: outdoors. Be bold and enjoy it!

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The history of frozen underwear

Spicy food makes an otherwise boring diet exciting yet its consumption comes with consequences. The challenge of eating spicy food without major side affects has been a quest of mankind for centuries. Today, there are many known approaches: ice water, antacids and the practice of wearing frozen underwear.

With the advent of refrigeration it has now been possible to do something about late stage spicy food digestion. It is no longer necessary to squat in an icy river or walk around with a pail full of ice strapped to your backside. This article describes the history of how frozen underwear has come to be and how it has helped improve our quality of life.

Ancient Times:

Ancient Aztec writings tell us that Jalapeños were first consumed during the reign of Montezuma as early as 1000 BC. Apparently Montezuma ordered his Jaguar warriors to eat jalapeños in order to make them stronger. However the practice ended soon after Montezuma lost a battle with the Incas. Later, while plotting his revenge he and his men squatted in the ice cold Xochimlco River. The river got its name from the words “Oh Mi loco” which is Aztec for: “Soothe the great fire from behind.”

In 700 BC The Inuit tribe of Louisiana overdoes it with the cajun rub on their brisket. The tribe heads north to Alaska preferring to relocate over changing their diet. The forced march north is later dubbed “The long, painful toboggan ride.”

In 300 BC, Alexander the Great conquered a Persian army much larger than his own because of the Persian’s lack of mobility. Apparently the Persian Immortals had previously conquered India and were suffering from the after affects of spicy Indian food. Their inability to walk without dragging their backsides along the ground made them easy prey.

Middle Ages:

1450: The first recorded use of a bidet. Marco Polo brought back General Tso’s chicken from China creating what was the first overland Spicy Food Trade route. Europeans have never been the same and required an extra toilet in their bathrooms ever since.

1470: The famous inventor Leonardo di Vinci accidentally creates the first hot tub after putting too much tabasco in his bloody mary. Despite wild interest in the new device the hot tub does not catch on among spicy food eaters.

1812: Napoleon suffered his first major defeat at the battle of Waterloo so named because Napoleon was suffering from post spicy food consumption and needed a loo with water.  He was famously quoted (with a French accent): “J’ai besoin d’une salle de bain avec de l’eau parce que mon derrière est en feu” Which means “I need a bathroom with water because my butt is on fire.” While Napoleon sits and reads the newspaper his armies falter.

1835: Ivan the Terrible protects Russia from invasion by selling blocks of ice to Genghis Khan after he and his men eat too much Korean barbecue.

Modern day:

1935: Hitler stumbles upon the idea of the blitzkrieg after losing a spicy hotdog eating contest to Goebles.

1972: General Electric toys with the idea of plug-in refrigerated underwear as part of its GE Profile line of products.

1975: a big fan of Mexican food, Lee Iaccoca introduces refrigerated seating in its Chrysler vehicles

1989: the fast food chain Taco Bell tests the slogan “Yo quiero un culo caliente!’

2004: Joan Rivers plastic surgeon creates the patented “Pucker Protector”. A discreet device that brings long lasting relief to late stage spicy food digestion.

2013: A hangover from too many El Guapo Calientes sends an avid blogger mad causing him to spend most of the day in the bathroom when the batteries in his Pucker Protector go dead. (Thank you Steve and Barbara!)