Tag Archives: Healthy

Top couch potato dogs

For several thousand years we have been selectively breeding dogs to help mankind survive. We bred dogs to help us hunt, we bred them to guard our sheep, we bred them for protection. Nowadays we breed them to help blind people, to sniff out bad guys, to look for bombs. The list goes on and on. Dogs are really, really cool. Of course nowadays some people use dogs for really uncool things like sitting in purses or keeping their fat butt on the couch.

I stumbled upon this article that lists the top “couch potato dogs”. These are dogs that are bred not to do anything except look cute and match our sedentary lifestyle. They don’t really have any other purpose. It sounds like they are being bred to be lazy just like us.  According to the author these dogs can get by with just “a short stroll or brief indoor playtime.” That sounds perfect for the typical couch potato.

“Dag nab it! If you can only walk yourself!”

I now envision a totally new breed of dog. It will have short legs like a Dachshund (because it never walks anywhere), a big fat belly (it will be shaped more like a pig) and it will learn to wear a diaper (because nobody will take it out for a walk). The breed will be called the Couch Dog.

This is how I see the interaction occurring between man(or woman) and their new best friend:

Human: “Fido, come here!”

Couch Dog: “Roof!” <<It ain’t happening>>

Couch Dog: “Bark!” <<Human lets go for a walk.>>

Human: “Burp. It ain’t happening.”

Couch Dog: “Woof!” <<Human can I have a bite of your sandwich?>>

Human: “Gosh, thats all you do is eat! OK, here you go…”

Couch Dog: “Roof!” <<Thanks! Can I snuggle up next to your warm, fat belly? Its like the perfect gelatinous cave to sniff around for other lost dogs…>>

Human: “Awww.. So cute.”

Couch Dog: “Bark!”

Human: “What?!”

Couch Dog: <<Gosh, thats all you do is eat! Can I have another bite of that sandwich?>>

Human: “Damn you! Here..”

Couch Dog: “Woof” <<Why are we watching the entire season of Housewives? I can think of a dozen better things to do. What is on Animal Planet? There was a show on cats I wanted to see…>>

Human: “Sssh! We are about to find out who stole the diamonds!”

Couch Dog: Bark!  <<I could use something to chew on that will help my teeth stay white,  my breath stay fresh and help my coat to glisten. I saw it on a commercial once…>>

Couch Dog: “Bark” <<Can I lick the crumbs off your shirt?>>

Human: “Stop bothering me.”

Couch Dog: “Bark! Bark!” <<Give me those crumbs damn it or I am making a mess in my diaper!>>

Human: “Phew! Was that you? Did you just fart? I can’t sit here for a minute without you ruining it!”

Couch Dog: <<Actually it has been five minutes since I lasted farted but about four hours since we have been on this couch together. Moohhhahaha! My master plan is working! I have bred the perfect human! I have comfort, warmth and a dumbass that will feed me and all I have to do is whimper. I am a genius!>>

Human: Faaarrrttt!

Cough Dog: “Yelp!” <<Oh no! I have created a monster!>>

The ten minute breakfast challenge

In our busy world who has time to cook a healthy breakfast? The simple answer is: we all do! The more pertinent question is: Who has the energy? Or, who has the motivation?

A healthy breakfast consisting of all natural foods like eggs, bacon, cheese, fruit and/or vegetables is what your body needs in the morning. It is much better than breakfast cereal and much better than skipping breakfast all together. The problem is many people have the mindset that there is too much effort involved. I want to change this.

I can cook a scrumptious egg burrito in less than 10 minutes. AND…within 20 minutes I have also slurped it down (slowly of course), drank a cup of coffee, and… cleaned all the dishes. When I am done the only evidence I leave behind are a few eggs missing from the carton. I challenge you to do the same. Can you cook a healthy breakfast in less that 10 minutes?

Here is how I do it:

  • Grab a pan, throw it on the burner and turn it to medium heat.
  • Get out all of the ingredients: eggs, butter, milk, cheese,salsa, sour cream, burrito wrap(s).
  • Drop a dollop of butter in the pan, put the butter away, reuse the spoon later.
  • Crack the eggs in a bowl, whisk, then blend in some milk.
  • Pour the mix into the pan. Place the bowl into the dishwasher.
  • Grab a plate put the burrito on it and either place it in the oven on low heat or get it ready to microwave.
  • Scramble the eggs, add the cheese. I prefer to add the salsa and sour cream at the last second – or you could rub some onto the wrap.
  • Add the egg mix to your burrito and enjoy.
  • Clean up the dishes.

Voila! What are your ideas for a speedy, healthy breakfast?